The Library is Now For Running and Screaming

Times have changed so that it is now acceptable to run and scream in the library. Also, make and receive phone calls, shout across to others, and utilize the public computers to chat on Facebook for hours while people who need to do actual research wait in line.

Either that, or I’m getting old and crochety. Probably both.

I do love my library, don’t get me wrong. I just don’t enjoy actually being inside it as much as I used to.

For example, when my kids were babies (they are only 10 and 13 now), I used to take them to Story Time at the library. All of the mommies and toddlers would respectfully walk to the children’s area, where we would use our quiet voices. Even after the story, when we would sing the Itsy Bitsy Spider, it was done in hushed tones.

Of course, there were plenty of times when my kids or others started crying, screaming, or trying to run around. However, we mommies did our best to stop them and I can recall more than one occasion when I carried them out… with them kicking and screaming, and me apologizing.

Not so today. Nowadays (see, I told you I’m getting old) the Story Time songs are sung at top volume, regardless of the fact that the other 4/5 of the library contains adults trying to concentrate. Afterward, the kids are literally running everywhere, while their parents either ignore them altogether, chatting as if in a coffee clatch, or roll their eyes and shrug as if there’s not a thing they could do about it.

This phenomenon carries through to other times of the day too. Loud conversations on cell phones, toddlers having screaming tantrums while the mom decides this would be the perfect time to chat with the librarian for twenty minutes, etc.

While the library is an extreme example, I have also noticed this in other places, such as restaurants, grocery stores, etc. Which makes me wonder, Was I too strict when my kids were babies? Or are people just letting them run haywire now?

Do you notice this too? I’d be curious to know what you think!

Tiny Businesses Really Matter

Small businesses. Big businesses. We know that they all make an impact on the economy, jobs, and ultimately, our communities.

However, it's one thing to say that and it's another to experience it firsthand. This being an election year, there's a lot of talk about whether to tax corporations less (or more), the regulations that apply to (and often impede) small businesses, etc. But I'm not here to talk about any of that because--let's face it--I want us to stay friends and it's best not to talk politics.

What I would like to share is this: As the mom of two daughters, 10 & 13, I spend a lot of time at their dancing school. And when I say a lot, I don't mean a quick jaunt for one hour here and there. I mean that I've considered selling my house and simply living in my car in the parking lot of Studio Five Dance Company, because I might as well.

It's a great dancing school and I love my kids participating in their classes and events, but that's not the point. The point is, this very small business makes a pretty decent impact on the local economy!

Since I am, by far, not the only parent who spends so much time there, we see one another throughout the hours while we're waiting for our kids: At the local gas station, pharmacy, Wendy's, BoJangles, nail place, etc. We're everywhere! And not only do I see the people I know, but I also notice the cars of additional families (because of course we all have a S5DC magnet proudly displayed on our vehicles).

Now, it is true that we would all still food shop even if our kids weren't at the dancing school. But the fact is, we wouldn't food shop there... we'd shop near our homes! Instead, the surrounding community benefits from the purchases we all make because we're there, waiting anyhow, and might as well get some errands done.

Thankfully, most towns have many of these small businesses, so it all works out in the end. But the thought process I have--especially in this election year, and also because I've always owned by own business--is this: If small businesses make such a great impact, why is everything made so difficult for them? They're not allowed to have significant signage, they have to get a permit to put up a banner during registration season, they have to pay extra for everything, and the red tape involved with seemingly every small task is nearly insurmountable!

All I have to say is, Thank goodness they and all the other small businesses are willing to go through all that. Because we all benefit in big ways.

Oh yeah, I guess I do have more to say... don't forget to vote!

Opposite Authors; Equally Astounding

I've been reading a lot lately. I'm not sure if you do the same, but I tend to go through phases with reading; I read either a lot or a little (but I never don't read at all).

Sometimes I have two books, a magazine, and a pile of recipes--all going at once. Other times I am deeply engrossed in just one book, or even a particular author, voraciously requesting book after book from my library's online request system. (The library, by the way, is a magnificent, state-of-the-art facility, located just blocks from my house. Walking distance. Although I drive, because it's at the top of a big hill and I am sometimes lazy. Okay, often lazy. But that's not the point).

The point is, are you familiar with Harlan Coben? And Elizabeth Berg? Each are wildly successful authors whose styles and subject matter are polar opposites, yet are equally, astoundingly, skillful in their craft.

Coben's are mysteries. Sometimes gruesome, sometimes not so gruesome, but always exciting. And, well, mysterious. But not just any level of mysterious. If you'd asked me ten years ago why I love his books, I'd have said "because they're gripping." Now, (having given up the notion that I can read as a reader, rather than reading as a writer) I will tell you it's because he moves the story forward with literally every single word. Literally! (Yes, I pun, but it's also true.)

There is an unexpected, yet entirely plausible twist in every chapter. Page. Paragraph. Sentence, for heaven's sake! I don't know how he does it, but I am continually amazed and truly thankful that a person with such skills exists, and chooses to share this gift with us, his readers.

Then there's Elizabeth Berg. Who is not at all a mystery author, but rather a women's author. She writes on matters of the heart, of life, of women. You would think she knows you; either the you that you are now, the you that you used to be, or the you that you know (from reading her books) you are very likely to become.

You wish she was your friend. Or at the very least, your therapist. Or both. Her understanding of the human condition is--again I must use this word--astounding. It makes you wonder how she could possibly know all of this. Has she lived it? Learned it? Does she just somehow magically have an intuition that allows her to share all of this, with us, her fortunate readers?

I would recommend some titles, but that is not necessary. Pick up any book by Coben or Berg; every one is a sure thing. Just don't start one at night if you need to be up in the morning--you're sure to be up late, reading, and hopefully astounded, as I am.

Do You Assume First-Person Writing is True?

As a writer, I've always enjoyed writing in the first-person more than third-person. (I bent over to tie my shoe, rather than she bent over to tie her shoe). I find that telling the story from the point of view of the protagonist allows me to use my "voice" to tell the story in a more entertaining way.

However, I've also noticed a trend: People tend to assume that everything written in the first person is true! Even professionals in the industry make comments, like the critique on a short story I recently submitted, "I'm not sure whether this is fiction or not, but it certainly is appropriate for our readers..."

Etc.

I laugh to myself, as this reminds me of a seminar I attended at last year's Backspace Writer's Conference. The author, who was speaking about techniques when writing erotica, was frank enough to point out that, "If it's going to bother you that everyone is going to assume you really do want to have an orgy with golden retrievers, then writing erotica, at least without using a pen name, is not for you."

Looking at my book shelf, I see that some of my favorites are written in the first-person. Did I spend the whole book thinking that in fact, the author must have truly experienced everything in the novel? That it is little more than a thinly-veiled memoir? Surely not. They are telling a story and just like my own life is not nearly as interesting as those I design in my craft, neither do I think that every author who writes in the first person must truly live in a sinister town with a sneaky sheriff, murderous politicians, and firsthand knowledge of a murder.

Do you?

Christmas is Here! (Gasp, gasp, pant, pant!)

Holiday hoopla... so very joyous. No, seriously!

Of course, before now there were all of the Christmas preparation setbacks along the way: One of my cats becoming terribly ill, thus requiring numerous expensive and traumatic vet visits and needing to be watched 24/7; One and a half "snow" days of the kids being off from school (involving not a flake of snow, of course, as is the custom here in Raleigh, NC); all of the chorus, gingerbread craft events and other school things being rescheduled so I can attend them even closer to Christmas. Etc.

I've ordered a roast. A big-girl roast. I've never made one of these before and although I'm a little nervous about cooking a piece of meat that is more expensive than the jewelry I'll be wearing while making it, I am going to cross my fingers and do my best.

My gifts are wrapped, my food shopping coupons clipped, alcoholic beverages have been stocked up on. I've accepted my husband's offer for us to dine out for dinner tonight (Christmas Eve) so I can conserve my energy for Christmas day--a significant indulgence in my book.

The tree is lit, the cat is no longer vomiting, the carpets have been cleaned, and the kids are off school. Cookies have been baked, cards have been sent, and the multitude of other tasks have been accomplished. Once again, I've somehow made it through the commercialized, expensive, ridiculous hoopla that epitomizes the holiday season, especially for us moms.

Now it's time to enjoy it. Merry Christmas!

Tell-It-Like-It-Is Thanks

I think it's safe to say that most of us are quite thankful for many things, and when our turn comes around at the Thanksgiving table, it is likely that we'll share them aloud: food, clothing, our homes, our family and friends, good health, and so forth. Truly, I am thankful for all of those things.

But the Thanksgiving holiday brings the additional opportunity to express thanks for other things; things that we don't particularly announce at the Thanksgiving table but that I am truly thankful for every day. So, in keeping with my tell-it-like-it-is style, I've decided to share some of those things with you, my readers.

I am also deeply thankful for:
*The girl scout moms, who do most of the work with my daughters' troops, enabling moms like me to help out in a volunteer capacity, yet without having to attend Leadership Training, which involves camping outdoors in winter.
*The dancing school people, who help impart good morals to my children, who for some reason listen to them but not to me. (www.studiofivedancecompany.com)
*The weather in NC, which allows me to write this blog on November 22, wearing a tee-shirt and jeans while having all of my windows wide open, with the heat turned off.
*My cat sitter, who cat-sits even when the cats are not home.
*My ex-husband, who is taking my children on vacation to visit family, thus enabling me to enjoy not only a five-day reprieve from the kids, but also facilitating the greater procrastination of my need to drive them fourteen hours to New York myself.
*My current husband, who is so helpful and supportive that I refrain from telling people because they become green and irritated.
*My next husband... just kidding! (Thanks Mark, for laughing at my jokes too.)
*My two children and two stepchildren, all of whom rarely have meltdowns (even when I do), and none of whom are criminals in any way, shape, or form.
*My fellow writers on the Backspace Writer's Forum, who are just about the only people in life I can count on to be brutally honest at all times, yet with good intentions. (www.bksp.org)
*The fact that there is not a gigantic lit-up tree full of cat choking hazards in my living room. Yet.
*Online Christmas shopping.
*And of course, my sincere thanks to all of you who follow my blog; I appreciate your support.

Okay, I'll stop now. Because really, this list could go on and on and on.
What about you? What are some of the less obvious things you're thankful for this Thanksgiving?

Five Things I Learned This Week

1. Clubbing, which begins no earlier than 11 pm, was a lot more fun when I didn’t get up at 6 am every day because my kids’ school days start so early. And when I had friends who wanted to do it with me.

2. If you join a gym, you can drive by and say “That’s my gym.” You can wear the t-shirt, carry the membership card, and pay the money. But if you don’t go there and work out, you won’t actually become any more fit.

3. There are some friends with whom there is no choice but to phone at a time you know is inconvenient for them; the only other option being to call at 3 am to shoot the breeze because really, there is no time during normal waking hours when you’d both be available.

4. When applying a fake cat nose to one’s face, do not use "Outlast" lipstick because you are too lazy to search for normal lipstick that would have washed off without practically having to apply a chemical solvent.

5. When waking a teenager, begin by finding the wire peeking out of the blankets. Follow it along, and if you come across an iPod, reverse directions. Eventually you will arrive at the earbuds, which are in the head of the near-comatose teen. (More waking a teen tips in this humorous article: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/-/user-post-how-to-awaken-a-teenager-on-shine-2402224/)