Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Confessions of a Type-A Octopus

Is it possible to have a successful career and a good family life, both at the same time? That is today's question, and I'm here to attest that it is. And it isn't. Both.

Obviously, many of us manage to succeed in both arenas; skillfully multitasking Girl Scout e-mails in-between work e-mails, and stopping on the way home to pick up cupcakes.

But I've also learned that there are times when the Type-A part of me has to "let go," otherwise I'd make myself crazy. I will share with you that, despite my best efforts, I have worked with spit-up stains on my blouse (attained just seconds before departing Grandma's); Likewise, my husband has gone to his office with glitter on his slacks (since glitter is attracted to his car upholstery with the same impenetrable vengeance that normally applies only to cat fur).

Yes, it's a balancing act. We want to be ultra-professional at work, yet there for our families at home. Most of the time we succeed, but on the occasions when one affects the other, we have no choice but to forgive ourselves; the only other option being a straightjacket.

Last week, I taught a seminar three hours from my home. It started at 3:00. At 2:36, I received a phone call with an emergency about my kids. What's a mom to do? Other than thanking my lucky stars that they have both a Dad and a Stepdad who are extraordinarily capable, there was no way I could be there. Yet obviously, this was preying on my mind, and shutting my cell phone at 2:56, forcing myself to focus on providing an energetic, interesting three-hour workshop was one of the hardest things I've had to do.

It all worked out okay. Thankfully, my kids were fine. And the seminar also went well. I received much positive feedback, which was reassuring, although some people (including myself) were a little disappointed that my timing was off. Overall, the program was a success.

Was it as perfect as I'd have like it to be? Absolutely not. Was I thrilled about being torn between my responsibilities? Definitely no. But in the end, we Type-A people who choose to do both will inevitably be faced with the occasion where we'll have to forgive ourselves for being mere octupuses rather than centipedes.

Although at times it's hard to find solace that "At least I'm not an insect."

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Researching the Query Letter

Like many things in life, there are some things you can be very good at, but if no one knows about it, it won't make a difference. For example, if you're an amazing massage therapist who has no clients, you can't help people feel better.

The same applies to my novel. I (of course) believe it's a great novel that many people will enjoy. But if it doesn't get published, no one will get to read it; the world will be deprived of my entertaining and thought-provoking book.

Having researched query letters and what agents want to know, I've compiled a list of pertinent aspects, including: Show your "voice," tell what the story is about, highlight your credentials, discuss future goals, explain why you think they'd be right for your book, and more.

Great! I wholly agree with these elements and would love to include them all in my query letter... which will be either gobbled up, spat out, or completely ignored. Hopefully gobbled.

But alas. There is also the number one, overriding rule of query letters: They must be no longer than one page. One double spaced page. With one-inch margins.

Sigh. Since I don't think my daughter's suggestion of using "texting language" will work (here is my book 4 U 2 C), I guess I'll just keep at it.

Okay, so now I'm signing off of here and getting started on QueryLetter2,592.doc. Wish me luck!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Educational Conference, Complete!

As many of you know, I've been preparing to teach at the AMTA Educational Conference in Hickory, NC, and yesterday was the day! It was a beautiful day for driving and I was very fortunate to have a close girlfriend keep me company for the three-hour-each-way trip.

"Creative Marketing Outside the Box," was a success. With about 30 attendees taking my class, conversation flowed, brainstorming abounded, my Powerpoint presentation (much to my relief) didn't freeze up, and most of the feedback was great.

Yes, I received instantaneous feedback. Pleasantly, there were numerous people who approached me at the end to verbally tell me they enjoyed it. But I'd also included a feedback card for people to fill out, and I anxiously leafed through them immediately upon the room clearing out. On a scale of 1-5, I received several 5's, many 4's and just one or two 3's.

But of course, there's always that one person who was already an "expert of all things," who hated my class and vehemently voiced her objections on the form.

Sorting through the cards, I was feeling all warm and fuzzy as one after the next made comments about how they really feel they'll be able to improve their businesses and save money on expenses; it was entertaining and made time fly; and they're feeling much more motivated and hopeful. It was great stuff!

So why is it that when I came across the one negative one--despite the fact that I know "there's always one in every group"--drives me crazy to the point of almost entirely negating the multitude of positive ones?

Perfectionistic tendencies? Naw. Couldn't be.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Remind Me to Never Write a Book

When I say that you should remind me to never write a book, I'm kidding. Well, mostly kidding. I do love writing, and I do love books. So it only makes sense that writing books would be something I love to do. Right?

Write. I mean right. Sorry, I can't think straight anymore. Because the reality of writing a book goes way further than simply writing the book in and of itself. "Oh my! You've written a novel?" people say. "Don't you already have that dog training book?"

Yes, I do. And I am proud of my books--truly I am--both my nonfiction house training book, and my new novel. Nonetheless, I have to remind myself not to roll my eyes when people make such exclamations. Why? Because of the editing. And the revising. And the revisions of the edited, revised, and further edited versions.

If you're not a writer, it's hard to imagine that you could spend half an hour deciding whether or not you always have to say "whether or not," or whether you can sometimes just say "whether." It's mind-boggling. And with over 110,000 words in a book, (um, that's about 10,000 too many... they need to be edited out), the quandaries abound at every turn.

Or not even every turn. It's every line! Or, more accurately, every word! I was recently reading my Writer's Digest magazine and came across some invaluable advice: For each word, sentence, and paragraph, ask yourself this question: "What is the purpose of having this in here?"

Sigh. Here I was, thinking I was thisclose to being absolutely "done."

Then again, I am done. For now. Although a big part of me realizes that all advice is good to consider, and this particular advice makes an extremely legitimate point, I'll have try it on the next round of revisions. Which, knowing me, will start tomorrow.

Hopefully, I'll remember all of these words of wisdom as well as the multitude of decisions I've made on the minutae of text. I should probably keep a list. But I can barely keep up with all of the writing I already do: editing and revising my book, writing my blog, all of the e-mails, contests, outlines for seminars I'm teaching... well, you get the point.

I'll just have to hope I remember it all for the next book. If I'm ever brave enough to write one again.

Which I'm sure I will be. I always am.

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Writing is Never-Ending

I write. A lot. And, thinking about it, I don't just write because I'm a writer. Of course, I work on my novel, create workbooks and presentations for the seminars I teach, and I write this blog.

But there is far more writing than that, and I can't help wondering how people who are not particularly writers handle this? There are the long, conversational e-mails that maintain cohesive relationships with my children's teachers. There are e-mails to coordinate our family's activities with other parents, dance instructors, and even Grandma, who is as fast a typist as I am. There are replies to Facebook posts, dispute letters to credit card companies, and a multitude of other needs for writing on a daily basis.

It's grueling sometimes. And that's despite me having the ability to type approximately 10,000 words per minute with the near-accuracy of a brain surgeon. How do people do it? Hunting and pecking, laboriously eeking out one word per minute?; it's the equivalent of me being forced to work on my own car--I could do it, but it would be an agonizingly slow process with questionable results.

Speaking of my car, I dropped it off for service yesterday. I had an extensive mental list of all the little things I wanted checked, and before leaving to drop it off at the late-night key drop, I considered typing a list. But I was too exhausted. I phoned and left them a ten-minute message instead.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Is Insomnia a Given for Writers?

Many writers will tell you that they stay up late into the night working on their manuscript, often compelled by forces beyond our control. Ideas come flooding in just as you're about to drift off; or that word that you've been trying to think of that means "pixielike," but works better since you're not writing a children's book.

I have the very real potential to be that writer. Always more of a night owl, I could easily slip into the habit of writing from approximately midnight to 3:00 am, getting more accomplished in those three hours than I do in a normal eight-hour day.

Oh, it's not just the constant interruptions from the phone, the UPS driver, or the neighbors; nor is it simply my children, who need my attention once they're home from school. No, it goes way deeper than that. This is instinct on the most basic level... just like it was years ago when I would clean my apartment late at night, with my walkman on my head, slightly frustrated at having to leave the vacuuming for the light of day.

Instead, I force myself to get up and stay up at 6:00 am when my first child gets up for school. I spend a little time with my hubby, walking him to the door like the little woman I fancy myself to be, then I continue with the next round of getting kids ready. Throughout the day, I alternately work on my book and field the interruptions, while my evening is filled with the togetherness (and craziness) that is the norm for healthy, active families.

Late in the evening after the kids are in bed, is the only time of day I can really spend with my husband. Who I'm crazy about. So I do. I ignore the fantastic new ideas that pop into my head, haphazardly jotting them on sticky notes instead of typing them into my book; praying that I'll remember tomorrow what I meant.

By 10 pm, I'm exhausted; toothpicks are holding my eyes open. By 10:30 I'm wide awake, my second-wind having kicked in. But the rational me--the one who realizes that to stay up would put me on the opposite schedule than my family, which I would surely regret for days when my body has to readjust--admonishes myself to "just cut it out and go to sleep now."

Which is what I just told the kids two hours earlier.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

My First Blog: I've joined a forum!

It's interesting--my writing career has been underway for over twelve years, yet I've never been involved in the "writing community," so to speak. Turns out, there are a plethora of online communities, blogs, forums, and other resources for writers to enjoy the camaraderie and share the knowledge of others. Oh, I knew they were there; I just didn't get involved with them until now.

I recently joined Backspace, a site for writers that's rich in resources of every kind. I can make friends! I can request impartial critiques! I can join contests, watch videos, and read a multitude of articles written by top industry professionals!

But alas, I've been a member for a whole week now, and haven't had much time to participate. After all, I am revising and editing my manuscript. Again. (Someone better take it out of my hands soon, because no matter how good it gets, I can't seem to stop). I'm preparing to teach at one conference and attend another, while juggling four kids and their insane social schedules.

Although, I did enter a contest: there was the potential to win a scholarship to attend the Backspace Conference, which for me would be a significant financial windfall. When voting opened to all forum members, I excitedly checked the contest page and was pleased to discover that there were only six entries--in my mind vastly increasing the potential that I could win.

I read each entry and then, feeling a little guilty, voted for myself. Checking back later (and checking and checking and checking), I became more hopeful when I saw that someone else had voted for me. I had two votes! Logging off, I vowed that I wouldn't check again until the next day, and I only cheated once. Still two votes.

Within a few days, all was said and done. I did not win. In fact, I never did receive any more votes, while two of the other contenders received 13 and 9. Were theirs that much better than mine? Does my writing suck? Of course, I loved my story and my husband did too, but we might not be the most impartial audience.

Researcher that I am, (and realizing that this was not an anonymous contest), I decided to do some investigating, upon which I discovered that the two highest-ranked entries were written by the two with the highest forum participation. Coincidence? Surely it couldn't be that voters on the forums--educated, knowledgeable people who understand the love and skill that goes into the craft--voted for their entries simply because they're friends. Would they?

Is it possible that the writing world--like all the rest--is a dog-eat-dog world? Who knows? I have no idea. I mean, their stories were good, but... Maybe I'm just a sore loser. Maybe my writing does suck. I guess we'll see next year when my participation numbers are up.

Then again, I'm busy. Very busy. So who knows how high I can get them? Guess I'll just keep doing what I do, and be glad for all of you, my readers, who hopefully don't think I suck.